|Look at my crack nuggets...|
Anyone who has kids and dines at kid-friendly restaurants has seen something like this before, and quite probably even more grotesque. The fact that the chairs are usually greasy and dirty and the bottoms of the tables might have boogers stuck to them is bad enough, but the booths are the worst. Booths seem more cozy and comfortable, right? WRONG. They have cracks that kill. Or at least they would if you stuck your fingers in there and then licked them. Aside from more harmless items like crayons, you would find weeks-old crumbs, maybe some fries, or some type of sauce. Maybe if you are seated after some really clever child, you would find that the crack has some baby carrots squirreled away with the ranch dip licked off first. Bonus veggies.
I also can't even believe that the management of establishments with this clientele sitting in booths don't seem to have any idea this is going on. If they did, wouldn't they make sure someone cleaned them? I mean, it isn't a fun or easy job, but surely there is a way... If you are the entrepreneurial type looking for the million dollar idea, then you can steal mine, which is some type of booth crack cleaner. It might just be a special attachment like those on most residential vacuums, but you have to enhance it in some way, not the least of which is a really clever name that means you can charge more for it. Crack Buster. Suck That Crack. Clean Crack. Crack Wand. You get the picture and you are welcome.
Or maybe they could just get creative and use the tools already at hand. Like scraping the cracks out with the rod that makes up the center of this tower of doughnuts (actually on the menu). Because nothing says coronary like having a burger, bottomless fries, a milkshake, and then sharing 8 donuts with your family of four...